Subject: Rugrats requested by Anon
Pairing(s): Honestly? Any.
Is there porn of that? Affirmative
Rarity: Medium rare to uncommon
Squick rating: stale lettuce
Miscellaneous notes: Don’t clutch your pearls just yet — they’re All Grown Up™. Although… you know when you babysit a kid and then a couple of years later you run into her making out with some dude and even though there’s nothing wrong with that, the image doesn’t sit right with you because you still think of her as Little Nine-Year-Old Susie Who Liked Ponies and Barbies? Yeah? That’s-that’s kind of how this feels like.
Excerpt:
The two both sit on Angelica’s bed. Chuckie kicks his shoes off and lies down on her bed. Angelica takes off her skirt, and then her panties, before crawling onto the bed with him. She brings her leg around, and almost straddles Chuckie’s head, with her pussy inches away from his face. “Well, start licking Finster.”
Chuckie thinks back to his videos, to how he saw the man do it. Remembering the scene, he dives in and runs his tongue across her pussy lips. As he licks and sucks her clit, Angelica begins to moan. “Damn Chuckie.” She says as she rubs her breasts. “Those tapes must’ve taught you well.
“It actually doesn’t taste so bad down here.” He says. “Hey, I thought you were gonna do me too.”
“Alright, alright, don’t get your boxers in a bunch.” She says, as she begins to unbuckle his pants. She pulls them down along with his boxers to reveal a decent sized member, that’s almost hard. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” She sighs, as she leans in closer. She grabs his Cock and, after a little hesitation, gives the shaft a good lick. “Hmm, it doesn’t taste that bad.” She says. She then opens her mouth and engulfs the head of his Cock, causing Chuckie to shake.
“That kinda tickles” he says as he giggles. | Link
We’ve all heard of Rule 34: if it exists, there’s porn of it. But just how accurate is this assertion? Every night (or whenever I feel like it or whenever I get bored of doing this, which will probably be soon because I have the attention span of a hamster) I will use my mad Hufflepuff-worthy finding skills to hunt down smut fanfiction of shows and films that you’d think would be safe from the evil, childhood-ruining clutches of Rule 34. Anything is fair game, including crossovers and non-human pairings. Imagination is a beautiful thing.
Is anything or anyone safe? We shall see. We shall see.
Subject: The Land Before Time
Pairing(s): with a subject like this, I’ll take any pairing.
Is there porn of that? Affirmative
Rarity: Thankfully quite rare — but the few that do exist are legendary. There’s a 35-chapter one that used to be on fanfiction.net but has now been deleted. I have not been able to find it yet but fortunately — or unfortunately — for us, snippets of it have survived on other sites! Hallelujah!
Squick rating: PASS THE BRAIN BLEACH
Miscellaneous notes: If you’d like to spice up your life even more by pissing on your dearly beloved childhood, you may also be interested in dinosaur sex fanart. Turn off safe search and Google ‘land before time porn’.
Excerpt: Warning: if you’re squeamish, you should probably stop reading at this point. Or grab a bucket.
Littlefoot slowed his pace when he noticed that Cera wasn’t moaning in pleasure anymore. He looked at her. Her eye’s were closed. He stopped thrusting.
“Cera?” he called to her.
She didn’t respond. He thrust into her one more time to get up to the level of her mouth. She was still breathing. She must have just passed out from the pleasure. Littlefoot wondered if he should just continue until he had an orgasm or if he should tell someone. But who would he tell? He decided to just continue. He started thrusting again, making sure that Cera’s head and other body parts didn’t get damaged during his thrusting. Cera didn’t respond in any way. | Link
We’ve all heard of Rule 34: if it exists, there’s porn of it. But just how accurate is this assertion? Every night (or whenever I feel like it or whenever I get bored of doing this, which will probably be soon because I have the attention span of a hamster) I will use my mad Hufflepuff-worthy finding skills to hunt down smut fanfiction of shows and films that you’d think would be safe from the evil, childhood-ruining clutches of Rule 34. Anything is fair game, including crossovers and non-human pairings. Imagination is a beautiful thing.
Is anything or anyone safe? We shall see. We shall see.
Subject: Harry Potter
Pairing(s): Hagrid/Hermione
Is there porn of that? Affirmative
Rarity: Justin Bieber Common — and by that, I mean, I don’t know why it’d be popular but it is and it kind of makes me lose hope in humanity a little bit.
Squick rating: like finding a rat carcass under your bed
Excerpt:
When Hermione pulled him out, she had to take a moment to just look. Then she held it in her hands, measuring him, length and girth. Hard, he was so thick she’d never be able to get him in her mouth, and her fingers just touched as she wrapped both hands around him. He made a noise then, and she looked up at him, catching the expression of astonishment that lit his eyes.
“What?” she asked, her voice a bare whisper.
“Yer not afraid at all, are yeh?”
“Afraid?” she asked, nearly sputtering on laughter. “Hagrid, I could never be afraid of you.”
“But… I’m so big. Too big fer yeh.” | Link
sluterin:
Welcome to the very first installment of ‘Is there porn of that?’ We’ve all heard of Rule 34: if it exists, there’s porn of it. But just how accurate is this assertion? Every night (or whenever I feel like it or whenever I get bored of doing this, which will probably be soon because I have the attention span of a hamster) I will use my mad Googling skills to hunt down smut fanfiction of shows and movies that you’d think would be safe from the evil, childhood-ruining clutches of Rule 34. Is anything or anyone safe? We’ll see.
Today: Blue’s Clues
Is there porn of that? Affirmative
Rarity: Medium rare
Pairing(s): Steve/Joe
Squick rating: mouldy Hamburger Helper
Excerpt:
Ropes are like stripes, Steve thinks to himself as he traces the thick lines snaking around his brother’s wrists. The rope is rough, frayed enough to take skin if Joe moved too much, but he doesn’t move. | Link
